How to Disarm Your Wife

Published over 2 years ago • 1 min read

Hi Reader,

The way we respond to our wives when they use their “unhappy voice” will either build closeness and connection or sever it. Will either build trust and intimacy or erode it.

Here’s how I coached a client recently:

When Jen corners you with a criticism or complaint, instead of kicking against the goad ...

By complaining she nags
By demanding she speak to you in a more respectful tone
By insisting you were only 10 minutes late and not 20

Remember something ...

You chose her because she demands more from you. You chose her because she won‘t let you play small. Your soul knew this was the woman who would stretch you and grow you and help you become a badass.

So instead of raising your deflector shields, say to yourself, “Growth moment, growth moment, growth moment,“ then charge headfirst toward her criticism or complaint. That‘s what strong and secure men like you do. Get past her abrasive tone and choice of words and ask the bigger question, “Which part of her criticism is true?“

Now it’s time to disarm her. Smile and say this:

“I love that you hold me to such a high standard. It’s one of the reasons I married you. I mean, besides you being so hot and all.”

#boom

Greatness, it turns out, is largely a matter of conscious choice. (Jim Collins)

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