I was a mediocre husband for 15 years. Today, I teach husbands how to avoid the mistakes I made. How to grow and become great men. The kind their wives swoon over. New content delivered monthly. 👊🏼
Husband the Explorer
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​ I got into a fight with my wife over our wedding invitations. O, the irony! You can’t make this stuff up. Some backstory: Earlier that year, we had agonized over our wedding invitations. We wanted them to be just right. Do we go for elegant? Traditional? Hip? We finally decided on something we both liked. Box checked! Fast-forward a few months. We’re hanging out and my about-to-be bride says out of the blue, “I’m not sure I like our wedding invitations. Maybe we should change them.” Me: “You’re kidding, right?” It was all downhill from there. Here’s what I didn’t know then: While us guys typically wrestle with or process an issue by ourselves, our wives typically do it with others. We like to retreat and think about the issue. They like to find a friend and talk about the issue. Out loud. Same goal, different mechanism. “I’m the Map!”The next time your wife hits you with something out of left field, remain calm. Realize it’s likely her way of saying, “Hey, this might be a really good idea or a really bad idea. I can’t tell yet. Would you process it with me?” Don’t react. Don’t pick it apart. Don’t pass judgment on whether it’s prudent or not. Sensible or not. Affordable or not. Huh?! Say nothing?! No, take her side by saying this: “I’m willing to explore that.” You’ve just been nominated for your first “Husband of the Year” award. If it fits and feels more honest, go with: “That’s a little different than what we talked about, but OK, I’m willing to explore that.” Either way, you took her side. You turned toward her. You made it an us moment instead of a me moment. Excelente! Grab your wife’s hand and in your best Dora the Explorer voice, shout, “We did it!” ​ P.S. I was tempted to drop the humor in this email to make sure the point didn’t get lost: “I’m willing to explore that” is a game-changer! Memorize it, use it, and enjoy the reward of greater closeness and intimacy in your marriage! |
Wife Magnet
I was a mediocre husband for 15 years. Today, I teach husbands how to avoid the mistakes I made. How to grow and become great men. The kind their wives swoon over. New content delivered monthly. 👊🏼
Hi Reader, The Bengali poet and philosopher, Rabindranath Tagore, was speaking to husbands everywhere when he said: A mind that’s all logic is like a knife that’s all blade. It makes the hand bleed that uses it. (Rabindranath Tagore) That was me. “I’ll out-reason her.” “I’ll poke holes in her argument.” “I’ll present a stronger case.” “I’ll wear her down.” What I wanted ... My wife would come to her senses ... Recognize my logic was superior to her logic ... And have warm, fuzzy feelings for...
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Hi Reader, Last week, one of the men in my private community (we’ll call him Dan) shared a story that will dramatically improve your marriage. Here’s what happened … Dan is chillin’ with his family when his cell phone rings. It’s their next-door neighbor. During the course of the phone call, Dan is gracious, kind, patient, and attentive. Like he’s filming a telephone etiquette video for Dale Carnegie’s How to Win Friends and Influence People. The call ends and Dan’s wife — stunned by the...